Thesis in physiology wasn't exactly Nobel Prize material, and I was growing desperate for a job when my thesis adviser at MU called me in."Mark," he s...id, "I have a research program for you. Fully funded. It might last indefinitely."There had to be something wrong with it, of course. And there was. I looked a question at him."It's funded by Sir Lance-A-Lot. You know, the condom manufacturers," he explained."What do they want?" I asked."Nothing more or less than a thorough new study of penis. I don't need practice, I can walkperfect in high heels!" "Well, OK dear, let's try a pair and see howthey feel" my mom said, giving in to my excitement.Tiffany selected a pair of black open toe dress sandals with a 3"stiletto heel; they had a microsuede fabric upper with a perforateddesign, cutouts and a zipper closure, and a rounded open toe. The size6 fit like a glove and I was able to walk comfortably in them to mymom's satisfaction. Next, a pair of pink wedge "Espradille" sandalswith a. “This, Davey, I mean this package!” That’s me, Davey, although she’s the only one that calls me that. To everyone else I’m either Dave or David, or maybe Mr. Baxter. She’s Allison Baxter, formerly Allison Delaney, and right now Mrs. Baxter was holding my birthday gift directly in my face. “Here, open it now – it will give you something to do to keep your hands busy for a minute.” I took it from her, and she was laughing as she pulled away. “Jeez, you’re like an octopus sometimes!” The package. ”“Well,” he chuckles, “my pecker is hard as a rock right now and I sure could use the relief.” There is a short pause before he reaches behind him and pulls out his wallet. He opens it and, counting the bills, says, "Dam, I don’t have a hundred bucks, I only have fifty-five.”I pull out my wallet and count. I have sixty. "Tell you what, why don’t I call her and, if she’ll let me watch, I’ll put up the balance you need." Wow, that would be another first. I’ve never had anybody watch me have.
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