The real kicker was the new ones getting into the business. They were younger, in better physical shape, highly educated and a lot more skilled and ca...able of fitting into the role they needed to play to get close to their subject.We went to lunch and spent time working on the angles for Harrisburg. It was a good thing; the trip Ben had made to the Harrisburg police chief had not been productive and neither had a search of the immigration files for the area. Many of the files were incomplete,. Then she returned, with a guy. She introduced him to me as Pete and asked if it would be OK if he joined us for a drink, which she had bought for him as a thank you from me. I didn’t know the guy so I must have looked a bit surprised, so my wife then said, ‘oh you haven’t met yet as I picked up your computer, this is Pete the guy who fixed it’. Of course I didn’t want to make my wife suspicious so I told him that he could join us. Anyway, he was a very pleasant chap and he stayed for a few more. ”In early 1976 MaryAnn’s mother moved in with us. I never got along with her, but I maintained a wary truce with old slutty bitch. She really had no choice about moving in as she was diagnosed with the big “C” and there was no one in Oak Park, IL to take care of her. Her younger brother, the one that is two years older than MaryAnn, was a prominent Radiologist and partner in the largest hospital in Pensacola. Her treatment would not cost her anything. As it turned out, after about three months,. I’d put my heart into this story. Toughen up, old man.“Okay. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can.
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