VID20180102222919

..An old favorite ... About the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole...He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy...Golfer... "Can you see any obvious problems... ?"Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club."Golfer: He picks up his club up and says, "I don't see anything."Caddy: "Other end."Don't look down on anyone unless you are helping them up...This one is compliments of Chuck ... With thanksThe ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPERTwo Different Versions...Two. ("You are NOT bleaching it," I said) (Wanna bet? Said Sonia)Paint his toenails and fingernails with pale or clear varnish. ("She cannot be serious - no I won't let you do it") ("Why do you think you're tied up, Wendell?")Tell him to wear the underwear that's on my bed as his have not come back from the laundry. Nylon stockings as well. ("This just isn't fair") ("Nobody said it was.")You can put a little make up on his eyes and lips! Not too much mind. ("SHE HAS TO BE JOKING, fuck that for a. " You're what?" I gasped, "How can a gorgeous girl like you be frustrated, Lori? I would have thought that you would be fighting off the boys with a big stick." If only," she responded, adding, "I look at my friends then at myself - never been out with a boy so have never let one touch me - you may not believe that but I've never even touched myself." You're joking," I gasped, surprised that a girl her age had never masturbated - my God, I thought, just how much help does this girl need."You. "Sorry. What?" I asked back, after I had stopped choking."Well, surely you get sexual urges, don't you?" Katie asked again, clearly a little drunk."Well, yes obviously" I replied casually."So, what do you do about it? If you don't have a partner" she then asked.I instantly began to blush, and hesitated to answer, before glancing at Markus who just smiled back at me."I think she's got you there!" he whispered cheekily."Well, I... you know" I muttered a little embarrassed."You what?" she asked.
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