‘So to answer my question, my blood is still scarlet, I had to cut myself open to see that, you know to make sure. Lydia, I know I’ve told you thi... before but still, I love you (and yes I’m crying). You are the only person in this world that I love, everyone else can go to hell for all I care. I’ve been used, I’m worn out, and no good. Guess the only thing left for me to do is see if I can fly (this should be interesting). Again I love you Lids.’ The recorder clicked off the tape was over,. ."Come on mom, do you want me to think all you older women look like Bobby's mom?" he asked it all smarmy."Of course not," I suggested."Then just show me your industrial strength bra," he said. "What's the harm in that?" There is no harm," I answered. I leaned forward and lifted the knit top over my head. It left me sitting in jeans and a strong white rear clasp bra. I had more on than I had most of the nights I was on the road so I didn't see anything wrong in it. I would consider the exchange. ?Of course,? he replied, but there was a note of uncertainty in his voice. No one had ever taken a test vehicle down this particular road before and he was not happy about any deviation from his comfortable routine.She ignored him. She was in the driver’s seat so she was in control. She was always in control. In her own perverse way, she had been in control all day long. That was the point – to exert control even over herself in ways that she would not like. Self abuse is the ultimate. "You owe me a dollar," she said."For what?" I asked."Rose bet me that she would have to ask you before you would ask her," Debbie replied, and Sandy's giggles become much more animated.I was just about to blurt out "ask what?" when the light went on and I shut my trap. I don't know why I bothered. All three of them knew what had happened last night and it was apparent by their actions that they approved. That took a big weight off my shoulders."I need to get shaved and changed. I'll be back in.
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